Humour/Humor

I’m Not Really Passive-Aggressive. Well, Maybe Just A Little.

Regular readers of Snowbird of Paradise may remember that I once wrote a blog post about finding regular contributions to my back-lane garbage. Someone has been leaving their dog’s poop, carefully collected in green compostable bags, in one or other of the bins I use for garden waste. I wondered at the time who would do such a thing, and I am still wondering.

Note and Garbage Cans

Note and Garbage Cans

This activity is ongoing, and today it occurred to me to leave a note for the gift-giver. While I was weeding the garden, I started to imagine possible reasons for this behaviour, and I made myself smile as I made things up, so I decided to pass those thoughts on.

I also wanted to let the poop-leaver know that I really don’t like having to put their dog’s poop into a garbage bag for the garbage collectors to take it away. In my area, we are required to put trash in bags, not bins, because we don’t yet have the trucks with mechanical arms. Also, dog poop has a high acidic content and is not any good as fertilizer, so it should not go into compost. The only place I can put it is in a black plastic trash bag.

I know this will be considered passive-aggressive, but I’m not really either passive or aggressive. I’m just wondering why this is happening, and I’m a little bit irritated about it. So, this is what I wrote:

To the Person Who Leaves Dog Poop in My Trash Can,

Hello!  I’ve been wondering about you for a long time. I even wrote a blog post about you once.  Mostly, I wonder why you don’t take your dog’s poop home with you and put it in your own bin. I’ve come up with a few possible reasons.

  1. You live with an evil step-parent who won’t allow you to keep a dog, so you have to hide all the evidence.
  2. You go for a three-mile walk with your dog every morning, but your dog poops at the thirty-yard point, and you don’t want to carry it the rest of the way.
  3. You don’t own a trash can of your own, and you don’t understand why anyone would.
  4. You are too shy to start a conversation with me, so this is your method of trying to capture my attention.

Whatever the reason, I would prefer that you did not do this.

Regards,

The person who puts your dog’s poop into a trash bag for the garbage collection.

It’s probably too long for a passing stranger to care to read, but I’ll let you know if I get any reaction. Stay tuned!

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4 replies »

  1. GOOD LUCK, Lady! If having a dog is such a rewarding experience they surely shouldn’t have any problem disposing of that stuff in their. own garbage! Perhaps you should rise early, catch them in the act, and follow them with the bag calling out, “You forgot something!” Sounds like a rather exciting and rewarding project to me. Aw, come on, at least think about it! Just thinking about it cheers me up!

    Jane

    • I’m glad this cheered you up, Jane! I don’t much fancy the idea of hanging out in our back alley in the early morning hours, though. Interestingly, though, there was no little gift for the last several days. Maybe my note did the trick.

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