Blogging about my funk last week made a significantly positive impact on my sense of well-being, and I was surprised how liberated I felt after writing it all down.
I was able to stir myself enough to finish crocheting a hat that I had promised a friend. It was a pussy hat, and I hope that she never has to wear that symbol of rebellion against the President, but given that she lives in the US there is a strong possibility that it may come in handy for the next rally. Accordingly, I put it in an envelope and set out to the Post Office to mail it to her.
Before doing that, though, I put on some make-up. I don’t wear a lot of make-up, and it doesn’t change my appearance very noticeably, but it does change how I feel about myself when I am going out to face the world. After all, Harrison Ford is out there somewhere and you never know when you might bump into him.
When I am feeling blue, I tend to stay home and, because I don’t expect to see anyone, I don’t put on any make-up. And, because I don’t put on any make-up, I don’t go out. It’s a logical loop that’s hard to escape.
It dawned on me that day that, if I am to improve my mood and my health, I need to put on make-up every day. It’s not that the make-up itself does any good, but it makes me feel prepared to be seen. When I feel ready to face the world (and possibly Harrison Ford) I am more likely to take a walk, or run an errand, or go to see what’s happening downtown.
When I debate this with myself, my back-to-nature self tells me that I don’t need make-up and, while we’re at it, I probably shouldn’t colour my hair, either. Then my the-heck-with-nature self tells me it’s more important that I take care of my mental health than adhering to some vague notion of natural beauty.
Then I think of all my lovely friends who neither wear make-up nor colour their hair and I feel as though I’m letting the side down by failing to do the same. As I said, though, it’s about being able to face the world. If mine is a slightly artificial face, so be it. It’s this or stay home. For now, at least, I’m going to put on a false front and see what’s outside.
I took that pussy hat to the Post Office, then I kept on walking and enjoyed an hour in the sunshine strolling around nearby streets. That imbued me with energy and a renewed determination to get out more often. For that, I know that my first task will be to put on make-up. Then I’ll be more likely to put on my walking shoes. Then I’m more likely to actually take a walk. Then I’ll be more likely to bump into Harrison Ford. You never know.