Humour/Humor

A Short Canadian’s Thoughts on Long American Primaries

IMG_1071First, do away with the primaries. You really don’t need them.  They are long, expensive, exhausting and, ultimately, boring.

The political parties could just come up with a list of potential candidates and email them to their members. The emails would provide links to CV’s and stump speeches. The party members would then vote online. Done. And, don’t tell me they can’t figure out how to make online voting secure. We already do our taxes and banking online. Get your act together, people.

Second, do away with superdelegates. Everyone is a super delegate and can vote for whomever the heck they want to.

Third, if you must have a rally, don’t do it outdoors in ninety degree heat. Just sayin’.

Fourth, if you must have a rally, use the Greek amphitheater method for your audiences. When you stand on a platform with a PA system, most of us standing on the field or convention hall floor can’t see you and we might as well have listened to you on the radio, in our living rooms, with air conditioning.  If you can’t find an amphitheater, a sports arena will do.

Fifth, if you must have a rally, make the directions to the event really, really clear. Put up a few signs near the location. Make it easy for attendees to use public transportation and tell them how to get from the bus to the rally. Go online and provide a map for the people who are walking so that they don’t have to walk around the site for twenty minutes in the sun trying to find the entrance.

Sixth, don’t have rallies. Have gatherings where people can ask questions and hear debates. The rally is neither informative nor inspiring. It is a good place to meet a few like-minded people, but the rah-rah stuff is just for the TV cameras and everyone knows it. Let’s find a better way to get media coverage.

Seventh, make the whole process last a maximum of four weeks. And I do mean maximum.  Then we can do what we all really want to do and actually vote for a president.

Eighth, bring in some cold food and vegetarian food. Thanks.

Ninth, more seats would be nice.

Tenth, thanks for signing people up to vote. That’s really great.

 

2 replies »

  1. Now that sounds like a plan! Sure you don’t want to go into politics on this side of the border? We could use a few level-headed folks!

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