Please join with me in calling for the immediate end to the sale of bass guitars and upright basses. We will have a period of time for an amnesty and a buy-back of basses, after which agents may be sent to the homes of illegal bass owners to confiscate these weapons of mass de-oxidation.
In today’s news is an item about the sound of bass notes being able to put out fires. That’s funny, I thought, because bass notes always made me hot! I’m pretty sure a lot of bass players are under the impression that they are hot stuff, too. But, no. They have the opposite effect on fires.. Apparently it has got something to do with a particular kind of frequency that deprives the air of oxygen.
That must be what is happening to legislators in Indiana, too. There must be so many bass players in their state that all the oxygen has been sucked out of the air, and that makes them make really awful decisions. They have just ruled that it is ok to discriminate against gay people because, apparently, the right to be Christian trumps all other civil and human rights.
To be fair, it’s not all Christians. In fact, most Christians are loving, forgiving, welcoming, and kind. You know, like Jesus was. No, this is just some peculiar type of Christians who don’t want to make wedding cakes for gay marriages or allow gay couples to stay at their hotels. Surprisingly, the Governor of the state does not think the Religious Freedom Restoration Act legalizes discrimination in any way. He thinks it simply affirms religious liberty which he has been convinced is under attack. That’s what I meant about the bass notes. He’s not getting enough oxygen, obviously, so it’s not his fault.
Since the Indiana legislators are elected by the voters, they must be capable intelligent people, right? What other explanation can there be, then, for this nonsense. It must be the bass notes.
Thank you for your support.
Image source: http://background-kid.com/bass-guitar-wallpaper-hd.html