Dating

What would you do?

Choices

Choices

As I get ready for my return drive to Alberta next week, I find myself with a quandary. I have a decision to make about where to live in Canada and I’m seeking your advice.

I usually have a difficult time making choices, and the more selection I have the more difficult that becomes. I have several times  walked out of stores without buying something because it was impossible to decide which shirt or shoes or pants would be the best choice.

The decision that is weighing on me now is a complicated one because it involves multiple needs and desires.  I love my house in Red Deer, but I am thinking of moving for a couple of reasons. One is that Red Deer is a long way from the US border and makes my drive back and forth to California each year longer than it needs to be. Yesterday I was musing about this and spent a little while online reading about White Rock in B.C. and looking a real estate there. The location is great and the weather is awesome, but it’s a long way from my family and friends in Alberta.

Also on my wish list is a life partner. I would love to have a companion for the rest of my life, but so far I have not been able to find him. I’m quite happy living alone, and will probably continue to be happy this way, but I can’t help thinking how nice it would be to have someone else beside me. For a few years now I have been meeting people through dating sites and social events, and the opportunities to meet someone in Red Deer are diminishing rapidly. I think there are now exactly seven men in the area who are single, dating, and my age! I’m kidding, but not much.

So, if dating is on the agenda then it would make sense to move to a place with a larger population. White Rock has a smaller population, so that would not help. It is, however, an affordable place to live and the larger centres are  not. Calgary has a larger population and may be affordable, but it is still a long way from California.  Moving to the US is not possible because I cannot afford US health care.

It is also important for me to remember that I cannot now sell my house for what it has cost me. I bought in 2006 at the height of the market, and I would have to wait a few years for the value to go back up. At 62, I don’t feel as though I have a lot of time to wait. When I bought it, I expected to live there forever and I invested all of our real estate equity and Geoff’s life insurance money into it.  To lose some of that money would feel like a betrayal of sorts.

The subsequent market downturn reduced the value of my house, but at the same time made it possible for me to buy the apartment in San Jose. I don’t want to give that up if I can avoid it. However, living in two places has made the goal of finding a partner even more remote. Most people don’t want to do the annual trek that I do, and they want to date someone nearby, not long distance.

So, that’s why I’m putting this “out there.”  I am very fortunate to have so many wise and caring friends and family members, and I’m putting my problem in your hands.  I welcome all comments  and potential solutions. What would you do if you were me?

6 replies »

  1. Hi Anne, I too have decision disability, but here are some points in favour of White Rock.My brother and his wife live there, and I have visited several times. It was so beautiful in May that my eyes hurt. from rhododendron gazing. Although the population is small, the total metro population is pretty big. All your family and friends would have a great place to visit you. We saw Ray Kinsella walking down the street. My brother said he lived there–but I don’t know if he is single ;-).
    Good luck and best wishes in making your choice. I too am trying to make some decisions and White Rock is on the list.

    • Well, Bea, that is VERY interesting. We need to talk! I’m thinking about stopping off briefly in White Rock on my journey north next week to get a feel for the place. Let’s have lunch together when I get back to Red Deer.

  2. Ha ha, yes Nancy, Bill (W.P.) Kinsella. I forgot, Ray Kinsella was the character. Good thing I’m retired–if I were still working in a library, I would be checked out for that kind of sloppy error.

    Apparently he has had at least 4 wives, so not a good catch.

    If you would like to talk to someone who lives there, I could give you my brother’s phone number.

Please leave a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s